If there were a way to boost your child’s brain development and language skills in just a few months, would you try it with your child? It probably sounds too good to be true. This activity is not an app, a game, or even an educational program; it’s much simpler and more ancient than that: it’s having a conversation.
In the early years of your child’s development, back-and-forth conversations with you are as essential to your child’s brain as food and water.
Research Shows A Link Between Parent-Child Conversations and Brain Development
There’s a line of research coming out from MIT showing the dramatic impact that parent-child conversation has on children’s brain and language development. The studies show that it’s not simply about helping your child understand new words. It’s not a language download that can be passed along with flashcards or rote learning.
The conversational turns or dialogue between parents and children are what really matter. There seems to be something unique about those conversations. They not only help build children’s vocabulary but also support broader cognitive development, including executive functioning skills such as cognitive flexibility, self-control, and others.
In one study, researchers found that children (ages 4 to 6) who have more conversations with their parents show significant changes in language and cognitive development after only 9 weeks. This idea was first studied in 2018 and has now been expanded upon to yield these dramatic findings.
You may have heard of the research labeled the “30-million-word gap,” released several decades ago. This highly publicized study found that children from lower-income households tend to be exposed to fewer words in their early years, which can put them at a disadvantage in language development and literacy. While some scholars have questioned the framing of the difference as a deficit, there does seem to be a clear difference in the number of words children hear across families.
This new research expands upon this idea and shows that it’s not just about the words; it’s about the whole conversation. Words have more meaning, and children learn better in the context of a relationship. It seems that the real magic for brain development happens when conversations are frequent and ongoing. These conversations not only build up your relationship with your child but also foster their development and learning.
Tips For Prioritizing Conversations With Children
These findings may seem simple, but in our technology-dominated world, meaningful conversation can be hard to come by, even with our children. How many times are our conversations interrupted or never started because of technology? For many of us, it’s a constant battle to avoid letting our devices interrupt our relationships. This research just gives us one more reason to really value those conversations with our kids and make the most of them. With that in mind, here are a few ideas for ways we can have we can foster meaningful conversations with our children.
Use the time in the car with your children wisely. We hear this advice a lot, but it can really work well. Maximize the time during car rides to actually have some good conversations. Encourage your children to leave their devices at home so that you can have even 10 or 15 minutes of heart-to-heart conversations in the car.
Start conversations with your children while doing an activity. Sometimes it can be hard to sit face-to-face and intentionally have a meaningful conversation. Young children and even teens will often open up more if we start during a family activity, like a walk or bike ride, or even while cooking together. This one is a standard piece of advice that actually works. The activity itself can sometimes spark conversation, but it also takes some of the pressure off intense conversation.
Make family dinner a priority. More research is showing that children whose families regularly have dinner together tend to do better academically and have higher self-esteem. The dinner itself doesn’t have to be fancy or even very well organized, but just the minutes together sharing a meal and conversation make a big impact.
Don’t be afraid to get support. There are many different types of conversation starters or conversation games available that can help your family if you struggle with starting good conversations with your children. They may seem a little contrived at first, but once you get going, they can often spin off into other, more natural conversations.
With all the technology and educational resources that are available today, it’s easy to overlook one of the simplest and most effective ways to support your child’s language and brain development—conversation with you.