If you have the resources to spend the first week after your baby is born in full recovery mode — no picking baby up, no changing diapers, leaving all care tasks except for breastfeeding and cuddling to the other parent, family members, or hired help — you have an advantage many mothers would envy.
If your plans for postpartum include not only that recovery time, but are focused on your spa plans and international travel, well, most moms who have already been through that time period are going to laugh and tell you you’re slightly delusional.
That’s the reaction one TikTok mom-to-be is getting after she listed her “baby rules.”
Rules Ranging From Reasonable To Absurd
At least one of Isabelle Lux’s rules for immediately postpartum is entirely reasonable.
She says that when the baby is born, she’s not immediately calling family members and making announcements, because once that happens, everyone wants to see pictures, share in video calls, and otherwise make contact. This can be a lot for a mom right after giving birth, when her body needs recovery time and she’s exhausted and in need of rest and bonding time.
Others are — well, not impossible, at least with a sufficient support system (which, again, too many modern moms just do not have). For instance, she advocates for a 5/5/5 postpartum recovery plan, which you can also see supported by some midwifery organizations.
It starts with 5 days in bed, ideally with someone else bringing you food and drinks and caring for you. Then the plan calls for 5 days “on the bed,” meaning the mother can sit up and do things but should still be fairly sedentary, and 5 days “around the bed.” One lactation consultant, White Oak Wellness, defines this as:
“While your focus should still be on resting, during these 5 days, you can stand up and move around the bed. If you feel up to it, you may fold some laundry or other light activities around the bed, but try to limit standing to 30 minutes at a time, and of course listen to your body!”
Most of us don’t have the luxury of that much recovery time, unfortunately, but it sounds nice to anyone who has the option.
Some Of Her Plans Sound More Extreme
In fact, Lux says she will change no diapers for the first three weeks. Instead, she’ll spend her postpartum time doing everything beauty-related that has been off-limits for the past nine months.
“I’m talking acids, I’m talking retinol, every single thing that I have not been allowed to do for the last nine months, I will be doing immediately. And then in four weeks or so when I can, I’ll do cold plunges, steam rooms, saunas, hot tubs, all those things. I am so excited!”
Maybe that will all work out for her. We certainly wish her well. However, it’s important to note that many women are not yet healed enough at the four-week mark for some of these activities. If you are still experiencing any discharge or unhealed stitches, there’s too much risk of infection using hot tubs and swimming pools.
As for changing no diapers for three weeks, that may work out for her, but it certainly sounds like a fantasy to most moms.
The Parenting Plan
To be fair, I think many of us are guilty of this. I remember when I was sure I’d never buy my child a t-shirt with a television character on it and would never use baby talk. Oops.
Still, Lux’s assertions about her plan for raising her baby have other moms laughing and saying they’ll check back in 12 months to see how that’s going.
She insists there will be no baby music or media and no light-up toys.
Saving Cocomelon and Little Einsteins until your baby is a little older (18 months is a standard recommendation) is great, but music is wonderful for babies’ development and joy. Indeed, that can be classical or popular music, but ‘baby music’ is time-tested for tiny brains.
There’s also nothing wrong with choosing sustainable toys and skipping the batteries, bright lights, and loud sounds, except it’s not likely easy. Once the baby is old enough to express wants, it’s very likely that the baby is going to want that toy piano with the lights and sounds.
Lux says that if she’s unable to breastfeed, her family will import European baby formula instead of using American brands, which she assures us are just horrible. That, too, is a personal choice and perfectly valid — but most of us remember when we ran out of formula and had to use whatever the 24-hour drugstore had in the middle of the night.
The Criticism Came Rolling In
Lux is getting some criticism for her choices, but mostly, it’s for her certainty that her current plan will stick. One thing most moms have learned is that every plan only lasts until the first surprise.
One mom responded:
“Bless your heart! Please don’t ever delete this. I’d love to see the 12 month postpartum update to see the report card on this list.”
Another chimed in to recall her own pre-baby plans:
“I’m dying because the minute you have the baby I can almost guarantee half of these are thrown right out the window. The amount of rules I made that now I look back at like what? Hahah”
Some did weigh in on specific aspects of the plan — pointing out that baby music is good for language development, and that the 5/5/5 plan might go against medical advice in some cases, such as if a C-section is needed and the doctor advises walking to prevent blood clots.
Watch How Isabelle Lux Explains Her Plan
By the way, Lux does respond to many of these moms, acknowledging that her plans may change once the baby shows up. Still, she’s got some support and is leaning into it, heaping the appreciation on comments from those who agree with her rules.
Here’s the video that has so many moms shaking their heads:
She Has Other Controversial Takes As Well
Lux is soaking up the attention for her plans that parents don’t believe will last. She’s posted similar takes before.
In one Instagram post, she laid out her birth plan, for instance. Among other things, she plans to sip water from glass bottles with lemon and never allow her husband to move below her chest during labor. Once the baby is delivered, her immediate plans are silence, sushi, and champagne.
In another, she lists the things she chose not to give up during pregnancy, such as sushi, which she decided — “after doing my own research” had more health benefits than risks.
The American Pregnancy Association warns that even cooked sushi can carry risks because of unsafe mercury levels in many kinds of fish. They note that cooked fish, as long as one takes caution to pick options with lower mercury risks, does have health benefits — but Lux emphasizes that she’s still eating raw fish.
She argues that vegetables can have bacteria, too, so she might as well enjoy sushi. (Raw vegetables should be washed but do not carry the same risks as raw fish.) And in yet another post, she brags that she’s eating caviar with runny quail eggs because (she claims) she has more risk of food-borne illness from “food at the grocery store.”
This, too, does not reflect actual medical advice. Healthline explains:
“Most quail eggs are unpasteurized, meaning they have not been heated to kill harmful bacteria that may reside on the shell. Because of this, pregnant women and people with compromised immune systems should avoid quail eggs or ensure that they’re completely cooked with no runny or gelatinous yolk before eating them.”
Ragebait Or Bad Medical Advice?
One thing is for certain: Isabelle Lux’s controversial plans and opinions are catching a lot of attention on her social accounts.
While most of the responses are gentle amusement (and some say she must be joking or the videos must be ragebait), there seem to be plenty of folks who admire her plans and are on board.
On TikTok, one commenter calls her “a strong mama with a plan” and says she loves the whole list, and several pile on in support of imported formula (although one commenter does say that she tried that and the formula in question was recalled for nutritional deficiency).
On her Insta posts, moms chime in agreeing that sushi and raw quail eggs are OK — “Listen to your body, girl!”
Others ask for the books on which she’s basing some of her more medically controversial decisions.
Parents, we beg of you, please, make any birth plans you like as long as you understand that things may change. Make any parenting plans you want as long as your child is cared for and loved, but please do not take dietary or medical advice during pregnancy from influencers on social media.
The internet is an excellent source of information, but for your final decisions, use authoritative sources and medical experts.