Teaching children about their emotions can be challenging work. How can these tiny humans have such big, overwhelming feelings? How can so much noise come from such a tiny mouth?
Children do not have the skill set to manage their feelings effectively. Their capacity to understand or appropriately verbalize their emotions is limited. Their window of tolerance is small, and their reactionary responses are big.
That’s where we come in.
As parents, we must help teach and model these skills to our children. As a mother and therapist, I utilize books often to help teach and process emotions both with my clients and with my kiddos. Not only does this provide learning opportunities, but it also builds a connection with your child.
Children’s books that highlight feeling expression allow for receptivity and easy understanding. It helps reinforce concepts and provides real-life examples. Plus, the colorful pages, cute and funny characters, and easy-to-understand language all help keep kids engaged.
Teaching feelings through the characters in a book can provide emotional distance for children so that the spotlight is not on them. It is the character that is expressing the big feelings. It is the character getting in trouble. The character that is dealing with the conflict. Conversations about the character can help children learn how to identify and manage their feelings. It may also allow you and your child to dialogue about their own conflicts or experiences.
Here are some excellent Children’s Feelings Books To Help Teach Your Child About Their Emotions.
Some Days I Flip My Lid
Some Days I Flip My Lid: Learning to be a Calm, Cool Kid, written by Kellie Doyle Bailey, helps teach kids about feelings that can “flip” their lid. The concept of “flipping my lid” was first introduced by Dr. Daniel J. Siegel. The book demonstrates this during times in which an 8-year-old boy, Max, navigates feelings of anger, anxiety/confusion, and fear.
The book also provides easy-to-understand examples of the fight, flight freeze response in our brains. This is shown by Max turning into a tiger, feeling like he wants to fly away like a balloon, and becoming frozen like a snowman.
The book offers a variety of examples of how Max feels and navigates these emotions. It demonstrates him talking through these things with his mother and ends with some mindful breathing to help Max with regulation.
In My Heart
In My Heart: A Book of Feelings by Jo Witek navigates our emotions through fun pictures and examples. This book provides an added sensory bonus of different sizes of cut-out hearts on the inside pages from the first page to the last. The first page introduces how we all feel many emotions; “My heart is like a house, with all these feelings inside.” Each page focuses on a feeling and illustrates with a picture to reflect that emotion.
“Sometimes my heart feels like a big yellow star, shiny and bright. I smile from ear to ear and twirl around so fast, I feel as if I could take off into the sky. This is when my heart is happy.”
Another page emphasizes anger by the character pushing down on what appears to be dynamite with the words “BOOM.”
The last page demonstrates how we can all feel different feelings and includes the prompt, “How does your heart feel?” This opens a conversation for you and your child and allows them to share their feelings.
Ravi’s Roar
Authored by Tom Percival, Ravi’s Roar provides a conversation with your child about anger, not getting their way, disappointment, communication, and even the challenges of being the youngest sibling, if that is applicable in your family.
Ravi, the youngest child of 3, is met with a series of disappointments. Ravi becomes more frustrated, which is emphasized through facial expressions and red scribbles above his head that get bigger and bigger with each frustration. Eventually, Ravi turns into a tiger, and he expresses his anger through poor choices, ultimately making him sad and alone.
The book reinforces family connection by Ravi talking to his dad and siblings. He apologizes, and the tiger disappears. The last page also includes some feeling question prompts from the author that may be helpful for you and your child.
Don’t Feed The Worry Bug
Don’t Feed The Worry Bug: A Book About Worry by Andi Green is about Wince, The Monster of Worry. Wince is a cute but funny-looking monster who spends all of his time worrying. This frequent worrying leads to the Worry Bug following him around, which grows and grows when it is fed worries.
The book reinforces how worries can grow, reflected by the size of the worry bug that increases over the pages. What was once a small worry bug is now a huge worry bug that interrupts sleep and other parts of Wince’s life.
The Worry Bug gets so large that Wince finally declares, “Enough!” and intends to consult with Worry Bug experts. Wince is eventually able to get rid of The Worry Bug but notices that the Worry Bug returns after some time. The Worry Bug buzzes at Wince to feed him some worries, but Wince can find ways to not give into feeding the worry bug.
Don’t Feed The Worry Bug includes interactive worksheets, question prompts, and coloring pages. Don’t Feed The Worry Bug is part of a series known as The Worry Woos. You can learn more about these characters here.
NowMaps Jr.
NowMaps Jr.: Adventure Stories to Help Young Kids Navigate Everyday Challenges and Grow in Caring and Kind Ways is written by Daniel J. Siegel and is geared towards younger children to provide an understanding of the range of emotions we feel.
The character is a young preschool girl who finds herself in a few situations that trigger big feelings. From having to stop playing, feeling impatient waiting for a playdate, and conflict over a toy, the character navigates each of these feelings by identifying sensations in her body and using her “ok monitor” to distinguish between feeling green, yellow, and red. The character uses concepts that are helpful visuals for kids, such as using her “tool belt,” her pause button, and her focus flashlight.
The emotions felt by the character are also reinforced through the adventures she finds herself in, walking through a jungle, a desert, and a rocky pirate ship. The character can resolve the conflict through each challenge and find positive solutions.
For tweens, you can find another version titled NowMaps: A Tweens Guide to Learning About Your Thoughts, Navigating Big Emotions, and Being a Confident Kid.
Love You From Right Here
Love You From Right Here: A Keepsake Book for Children in foster care by Jamie Sandefer was created specifically for children who are in foster care. The author writes this with the intention that children coming into foster care be provided this book as a keepsake. The story is of a young girl coming to a new home, with facial expressions of being sad and upset. Each page shows the young girl displaying a range of emotions from sadness, fear, happiness, and bravery. Each page reinforces the adult always being “right here.”
“When you’re over there, I’ll love you from right here.”
“When you’re kind of sad, I’ll always be right here.”
“When you’re feeling scared, I’ll sit with you right here.”
At the end, it shows the girl leaving the home happily and provides the reminder, “I’ll still love you from right here.” The remaining pages offer writing prompts and a space for a picture or coloring. You can also find an updated second edition that includes a young male character.
If you are a foster parent, this book may provide an outlet for children to share their thoughts and feelings of their own experiences.
These books can also be used with children to show a range of emotions and assist with identification and expression. It also reinforces the concept of the child always being loved and the adult always being “right here” with them.
Words Are Not For Hurting
Words Are Not For Hurting by Elizabeth Verdick provides a basic understanding of our emotions and how words can hurt feelings. The book introduces the concept of how some words are loud, soft, kind or mean. The mantra “words are not for hurting” is repeated, and the author provides alternative ideas a child can do when upset. The illustrations on each page reflect different examples of conflicts, such as a child taking a toy from another child or unkind words.
The characters’ facial expressions provide children with a visual of the various emotions being discussed. The book has a few variations, including an English/Spanish version which is a bonus for multilanguage families or a family wanting to introduce Spanish to their child. There is a series of similar books by this author that you can find here.
Moody Cow Meditates
Moody Cow Meditates by Kerry Lee Maclean is about a cow named Peter who adopts the name “Moody Cow” after becoming very upset one day. The story shows an escalation of events that trigger Peter to become increasingly frustrated.
Peter eventually becomes “super mad” and is sent to talk to his grandfather who helps Peter decipher his feelings. The grandfather shows Peter how different angry thoughts can influence the mind. Peter is asked to drop sparkles that resemble his angry thoughts in a jar of water. They shake up the jar and watch all the “angry thoughts bouncing around all over the place.”
Grandfather instructs Peter to “just sit quietly” and to see “what happens when we let your angry thoughts settle down.” Peter watches the sparkles swish around and eventually settle to the bottom. Peter and his grandfather plan to do this every day to help Peter not be such a moody cow.
To reinforce this concept with your child, you can make a similar bottle with a jar or water bottle. Throw some sparkles, glitter, or sequins, and watch the items swish around in the jar. Adding a dash of soap can help move the sparkles and food coloring to make it extra colorful. This visualizes how we can get overwhelmed with thoughts bouncing around and reinforces your child’s understanding of emotional regulation.
You may find that when your child shakes their bottle to watch the glitter or sparkles settle, it helps them feel a sense of calm, just like Peter!
A Terrible Thing Happened
A Terrible Thing Happened: A Story for Children Who Have Witnessed Violence or Trauma by Margaret M. Holmes provides an outlet for children who have experienced stress, trauma or upsetting events. However, this book provides an opportunity for children to express anything upsetting that they identify as their “terrible thing.”
In this book, Sherman Smith sees something scary. This is a very upsetting event so Sherman tries not to think about it. However, over time, this results in him feeling nervous, having disrupted sleep, and instances when his stomach or head hurts. Sherman eventually starts to feel angry and gets in trouble at school. He is sent to talk to Ms. Maple.
Through conversations with Ms. Maple, Sherman can begin to think and talk about his feelings and express himself through drawings. Sherman feels better talking about what happened and starts to feel happier. The range of emotions Sherman is experiencing is shown throughout the book, with the final page depicting him happily in a field of flowers.
The final pages of this book also provide helpful resources for caregivers who may find their child navigating stressful situations. Whatever the terrible thing is for your child, this book can help normalize and validate their feelings. It also helps to teach children that they can feel better talking about their feelings. This book provides an opportunity for age-appropriate dialogue about traumatic or stressful events your child may have experienced.
Feeling Question Prompts
Books that teach children about feelings can spark meaningful dialogue with your child. Questions about the character or the storyline allow children to dig deeper and further reinforce their awareness of emotions.
Some examples may include:
- “How do you think (character) is feeling?”
- “What do you think about ___?”
- “What do you think is happening that made (character) feel ___?”
- “Is there anything else (character) can do in this situation?”
- “Can you think of anything you would do to help?”
It may also be helpful to reference characters when your child faces their own challenges. You can help teach emotional regulation skills while in the moment by helping your child reflect on stories you have read.
Reflections such as “remember when (character) was having big feelings, can you remember what they did to help?” or “can you think of what (character) did in the book we read last night when they were upset?” may prove to be helpful for your child.
While these are just a few examples of feeling books, many options are available online through local libraries and bookstores. Happy reading!