The holiday season is meant to be a time of joy and connection. But, for many parents, it can feel more like a marathon of to-do lists, financial stress, and social obligations. As a former therapist and a parent, I know how easy it is to get caught up in trying to make everything perfect. But here’s the truth: burnout doesn’t have to be part of the holidays.
With a little preparation and intention, you can create a meaningful and manageable season. Here are 10 expert-backed strategies to prevent holiday burnout.
Set Realistic Expectations
Trying to create the “perfect” holiday can leave you feeling drained. The reality is that perfection doesn’t exist, and striving for it often robs you of the joy you’re trying to create.
“Preventing holiday burnout starts with being proactive. One of the best tips I share with parents is to set realistic expectations early. Decide what’s truly meaningful for your family and let go of the rest—it’s okay to simplify traditions or say no to extra commitments,” suggests Ashley Peña, National Executive Director of Mission Connection Healthcare.
Decide what truly matters to you and your family this season. Identify and focus on one or two traditions that bring the most joy. For example, if decorating the house feels overwhelming, prioritize just one room or one activity, like putting up the tree.
Communicate realistic goals with your loved ones, so everyone is on the same page. Let go of the pressure to match social media standards or family expectations. Remind yourself: imperfection is what makes the holidays memorable. When mishaps happen—like a burned pie or a late delivery—try to laugh about them.
Establish Boundaries Early
The holidays come with a whirlwind of invitations, expectations, and demands on your time. Without boundaries, it’s easy to overcommit and feel stretched too thin.
Start by deciding what your limits are—both for your time and emotional energy. Choose a few key events or responsibilities to say “yes” to, and practice saying “no” to others. For example, consider asking guests to bring a dish to lighten your load if you’re hosting dinner. Or, if someone invites you to an event you’d rather skip, you can politely decline with, “Thank you, but I’m focusing on family time this year.” Establishing clear boundaries allows you to focus on what matters most and reduce unnecessary stress.
Budget Your Time and Money
Financial strain and packed schedules are major contributors to holiday stress. Without careful planning, they can quickly lead to burnout. Start by creating a realistic budget for gifts, travel, and festivities. Stick to it to avoid financial regret in January.
Steve Carleton, LCSW and Chief Clinical Officer at Porch Light Health suggests, “Getting imaginative and doing things like making your presents instead of buying them or looking for free holiday activities. [This] will lighten the pressure financially, but still allow for the festive feel.”
Similarly, plan your calendar in advance. Prioritize important traditions and allow extra time for unexpected tasks, like last-minute shopping. Block out non-negotiable downtime to rest and recharge.
Remember, it’s okay to simplify—meaningful gifts or experiences don’t have to come with a hefty price tag. The same goes for your time; quality moments with loved ones are far more valuable than overloading your schedule with events.
Practice Self-Care
The busier the season gets, the easier it is to put your needs last. But neglecting self-care leaves you vulnerable to stress and burnout. Make self-care a daily priority, even if it’s just 10–15 minutes. This could look like taking a short walk, practicing mindfulness, or enjoying a cup of tea in silence.
“I encourage parents to remember to focus on their self-care during this time. Even though it’s a busy time, taking even a 5-minute break for a mindfulness practice or a walk outside can make a huge difference in your mindset and overall well-being,” says Ilana Lane, PhD, Licensed Psychologist and Owner of Wellness Lane Psychological Services.
Treat self-care as a necessity, not an indulgence, and plan for it like any other commitment. Regular self-care ensures you have the energy and emotional capacity to show up for others without depleting yourself.
Delegate Tasks
Feeling like you must do everything yourself can lead to exhaustion and resentment. Sharing the workload makes the holidays more enjoyable for everyone. Identify tasks that can be shared or handed off entirely. Make delegation a family affair—frame it as a way to spend time together and foster teamwork.
Melissa Legere, Clinical Director and Co-Founder of California Behavioral Health offers this advice, “Ask for help. You don’t have to do it all yourself—delegate some tasks to family or friends so you’re not doing everything on your own. Ask them to bring something (maybe a dish or drinks) for dinner, help with the decorating, or even watch the kids for a bit while you take a quick break. Sharing the workload can take some of the stress off and make the holidays feel more like a team effort.”
Clear communication is key: let others know exactly what you need help with and how they can contribute. Delegation not only eases your burden but also creates a sense of shared ownership and connection.
Practice Self-Compassion
The holidays often come with self-imposed pressure to be everything to everyone. When things don’t go perfectly, it’s easy to spiral into self-criticism. Remind yourself that you’re doing your best, and that’s enough. When something doesn’t go as planned, resist the urge to blame yourself. Instead, talk to yourself the way you would a close friend—with compassion and encouragement.
Treating yourself with kindness isn’t frivolous; research suggests that self-compassion is critical for mental well-being and resilience during stressful times. Incorporate small, intentional acts of self-compassion and self-love into your day, like pausing to acknowledge your efforts, celebrating small wins, or taking a moment to rest. Remember, showing yourself grace allows you to show up for others more authentically and meaningfully.
Be Mindful of Screen Time
The constant notifications and endless comparisons on social media can amplify holiday stress, leaving you feeling inadequate or distracted. Limit social media scrolling, especially if you catch yourself comparing your celebrations to others’. Remember, most posts are carefully curated and don’t show the whole story. Instead, embrace the uniqueness of your holiday moments without judgment.
Screens can also prevent us from fully engaging in the moments that make the holidays special. Use screen time mindfully—perhaps to video call a loved one or snap meaningful photos—and disconnect when you don’t need your device.
Set clear boundaries for your screen use during the holidays. You may want to establish “phone-free zones” during family meals or holiday gatherings to ensure you’re fully present with loved ones. By doing this, you’re also modeling screen limits to your children and showing them the importance of being present. While technology can enhance our lives, unchecked use can become a major stressor.
Plan for Downtime
The whirlwind of shopping, hosting, and traveling can leave you feeling like you’re running on empty. Without intentional rest, the holidays can quickly turn from joyful to exhausting. But giving yourself permission to pause is not lazy; it’s necessary for your mental and physical well-being.
Block out downtime in your calendar as if it were a non-negotiable appointment. Use these breaks to recharge in meaningful ways, like lounging in pajamas, binge-watching holiday movies, or taking an afternoon nap. Make this time to slow down and not squeeze in more tasks.
Rest does not mean unproductivity—rest fuels your ability to stay present and enjoy the season. By prioritizing downtime, you’ll be better equipped to handle the demands of the holidays with grace and energy.
Let Go of Guilt
The holiday season often comes with an unspoken expectation to please everyone—attending every party, giving perfect gifts, and fulfilling countless commitments. But striving to meet everyone’s needs often leaves you stretched too thin because you feel guilty saying no. However, releasing the guilt and prioritizing yourself is important to preventing burnout.
Homaira Kabir of Happify explains, “Guilt lurks in the shadowy place between expectation and execution, where we tie ourselves in knots trying to make someone else’s vision a reality…When we follow the path that upholds our values and honors our inner voice, we can act according to our own expectations with confidence—and without guilt.”
It’s important to remember that your worth isn’t measured by how much you accomplish or how perfectly you meet others’ expectations. When you set boundaries—like skipping a party or opting for a simpler gift exchange—remind yourself that these choices preserve your mental health.
Those who care about you will understand your limits and respect your need for balance. Letting go of guilt isn’t selfish—it’s a necessary act of self-care during a hectic season.
Focus on Connection Over Perfection
The pressure to create a picture-perfect holiday—flawless decorations, gourmet meals, and perfect gifts—can overshadow the season’s true spirit. This perfectionism often leads to stress and robs you of the joy of simply being present with loved ones.
Let go of the need for everything to be flawless. Instead, focus on meaningful moments of connection with the people you love most. Make space for shared experiences like decorating cookies with your kids, laughing over a board game, or reminiscing during a cozy family dinner.
Remind yourself that the memories people cherish most aren’t about perfection but about authenticity and togetherness. When you allow yourself to embrace the imperfections, you’ll create a holiday that’s not only less stressful but also deeply fulfilling.