Social media has become the new town square; by ‘new,’ I mean this has been a reality for at least two decades.
For teens, it’s a place to share drama, interact with friends, commiserate over struggles, boast of day-to-day successes, and, too often, compare the most public parts of others’ lives with the most secret parts of their own. For parents…well, it’s pretty much the same.
So, when parents allow kids to film morning routines, is it a motivational tool, community sharing, or performative parenting? Not everyone will like ‘Supernanny’ Jo Frost’s answer.
‘GRWM’ Videos Are A Growing Trend
Search “GRWM” — which stands for “Get Ready With Me” — on TikTok, and you’ll find plenty of adults doing ‘fit checks’ and getting ready for work or dates, but you’ll also find an endless stream of teens and even younger kids getting ready for school.
Some of these videos focus on the makeup routine. Still, in others, teens start in pajamas and take viewers along on a ride as they brush their teeth, rummage through drawers and closets to pick an outfit, and eat breakfast, often as they share school gossip, plans for the day, or hot takes on popularity, friendship, and teen life.
Jo Frost’s Take
Frost is best known for appearing on the reality show Supernanny UK. She’s spent more than thirty years as a nanny and has written books on raising children.
She disapproves of the morning routine videos.
In a recent Instagram post, she expressed her thoughts about the controversial trend. She says:
“Let children wake with bed head not produced parents. They need hugs a warm smile a morning kiss, not you with a set up camera producing,or allowing it.”
She Is Especially Concerned About Seeing The Posts From Very Young Children
Frost says she’s seeing these posts from children as young as seven and demands, “Parents, what on earth are you thinking? No, seriously?”
In some cases, the kids are not posting these videos, either. As I perused TikTok for this story, I found, for example, a parent filming as she entered the room to wake her elementary-aged daughter for school, another where a mom narrated as her daughter brushed her teeth and applied lotion, and another parent who filmed her child for the first day of middle school, pulling on her skirt under a nightshirt (the camera did stop for her to change into her school blouse).
Some of the videos raise serious concerns about what should be on the Internet.
Frost Says These Kids Are Being Denied Important Moments Of Connection
Her view is that, even in the tamer GRWM videos, kids spend moments of the day that shouldn’t be ‘produced’ but close and connection-focused. She argues they’re being robbed of:
“A time when family connection should be at it’s most highest, a smooth operation of a well practiced routine of breakfast together, lifeskills accomplished a mindset of focus & attention and the privilege to be educated.”
She says it’s bad enough that parents alow their kids screen time at all before school, and for the kids to be the content just amplifies the damage being done.
Nanny Jo Says She Is Not Shaming
She pre-emptively addressed those who consider this to be shaming parents for their choices. She says that she’s actually just telling the truth, and it’s time for parents to take responsibility and do better. She wrote:
“Look, you’ve got to take responsibility. I’m tired of hearing when anybody speaks the truth they are shaming, this is NOT shaming this is YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER FOR YOUR CHILDREN and you must! You must.”
“I know you can but you got to get your priorities straight,” she added.
She’s certainly right about how her followers feel — one of the top responses asks her if she thinks shaming parents on social media will help, later adding that as a teacher herself, she thinks the “negativity of opposing sides” does more damage than either viewpoint. Another chimed in to say each parent should do what seems right to them, and that she always gets consent from her kids before posting videos of them.
Yet another responded with a South Park GIF in which a psychiatrist declares Supernanny to be “in a deep state of mental psychosis.”
Most Parents Agree With The Central Message
While plenty disagree with Frost’s presentation of some aspects of her opinion, most of her fans do, at least, agree that younger kids shouldn’t be posting these morning routine videos and that it’s exploitative for parents to video their kids for content.
Others wanted more nuance. They consider an occasional video okay, are okay with regular fit check pics, or want to discuss first-day photos and whether or not it’s okay to include a name board with personal information in a Facebook post. They don’t approve of daily routine videos but don’t want to accidentally agree with a broader anti-sharing or anti-screen position.
Some even take more extreme positions, telling others not to post their first-day photos but to print them and make a book to keep at home instead!
Nanny Jo’s Final Judgment
Frost concludes that these parents are creating “grandiose children,” and that “nobody wants” this outcome. She asks:
“Do you really understand what you are breeding here in your home?”
Nanny Jo concludes that this is all a symptom of “performative parenting” and that mornings should be a time for kids to “embrace your positive energy” before parting ways for 8 hours.
You can see her Instagram post below.